Baby Drama

So Charles and I went to our first OB appointment. This is where you give a ton of blood and the doctor listens to the babies heartbeat. When we went 4 years ago for Cassie, it was a very easy appointment. Oh not this time. Everything was great until we listened for the heartbeat. The doctor could not find the heartbeat. He did say my uterus was tilted down so it maybe harder but then he called for the portable ultrasound machine. Then for I swear 2 minutes, he did not say a word while he was putting the wand on my stomach. Charles and I literally thought the worse. Finally he said, well there the baby is, it just won't quit moving. Oh the relief we both felt was big. The doctor could never get a good reading on the heartbeat because he couldn't get the baby to stay still long enough. All I can think is great, the baby already has ADHD. He did show us the sonogram and man was the baby hyper. I swear I only drank water that day.

So everyone keeps telling us we are having a boy. Well we can't find out until the end of February. Well I bought this test at Target called Intelligender. Here is the website for the test. It is just for fun and not suppose to be used as a real test but they do say it is 80% accurate. So I bought it. It says we are going to have a boy so I guess we will see if it is true or not.

Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas. Very low key and unstressful. The only stressful part was cooking at my dad's. He has one oven and everything we cook needs to cook in the oven. I am sorry I don't ever have pictures on here. I am so bad at taking pictures and right now I have no idea where are digital camera is. Since we are getting rid of the computer room to make room for the baby, Charles is going through it slowly to get rid of stuff. I feel bad because he loves his computer room but it was his idea. He wants to get rid of clutter.

So I think we both want a boy but at least for me, I will be happy as long as the baby is healthy. I have gotten bigger much faster with this one which I have heard happens after your first one. Man have a been sick. I have not thrown up but my stomach is constantly upset. Charles made an egg dish last night and on the first bite I nearly threw up. Eggs are not my friend right now. Thursday night we are having a date night, dinner and a movie because Cassie is spending the night with my mom. We may even sleep till 7:30 am on Friday. We aren't doing anything for New Years because I will not be able to stay up past midnight and we still have to be up early with Cassie the next day. Life is going well right now. My first OB appointment is today and we will get to hear the heartbeat!

God's timing

So this post will nearly sound like my sister-in-laws last post but she did say it best. Since before Thanksgiving, I have not felt well. Very tired and cranky and not myself. Just to break the news, Charles and I finally figured out I was pregnant. Man I did not want to take that test. I put it off till I couldn't anymore. Well it came up positive. At first both Charles and I were a little upset. We didn't feel like we were ready for another one, we are still working on us and you always hear of those couples that think having a baby will fix everything. Well after much discussion, we decided we can't change the facts so we are going to both be happy about this. We are in a much better place than we were when we had Cassie. Even emotionally we are in a better place because we are still working on us. Financially we are in a better place, we aren't living with parents, we have our own house and room to add another child. Poor Charles is giving up his computer room but since he watched Hoarders on TV he is all about getting rid of stuff. We are actually excited. My first OB appointment is January 28th.

This pregnancy is already completely different than the first. I am constantly hungry, like get up at 3am to eat cereal hungry. If I don't eat when I am hungry, then I get sick. I don't remember being this tired and I can't brush my teeth without wanting to throw up. I have pretty much given up soft drinks because they don't taste right to me and I drink a ton of water because it makes me feel better. I think I am eating better because Charles is feeding me. Charles and I have already been discussing names and man this child is screwed because we do not like the names the other throws out. It will probably be easier once we know the sex of the baby or maybe it will be harder.

So that is what is going on now. Wish us luck.

Better

So a good friend of mine who I have not talked to in forever read my blog and called me to see how I was. Since I have not posted how life is right now, she was concerned. On November 12th, Cassie and I moved back in with Charles. It hasn't been easy but it has been better. I think we are still walking on eggshells around each other but we are also talking more. It has been hard letting him be the man of the household since I have been doing it for so long but it also been good because he helps out more around the house. It never bothered me to clean everything because he works more than I but it has also made me feel guilty if he cleans the kitchen because I feel lazy. These are just things I need to get use to. He felt useless around me because I did everything and now I am trying to include him in everything. Like on Sunday, we went together and bought all of Cassie's birthday party stuff and usually I do that on my own because I didn't think he wanted to. So life is getting better a day at a time.

Fixing Yourself

So I have been seeing a counselor and the things I have discovered about myself is scary. There is something that happened in 9th grade that has defined who I am since that time. It wasn't anything traumatic but it was life defining in my case. This is now something I have to work through and in my own words, get over. There was no reason why this moment should have defined me like it has. I wasn't thrilled about going to counseling but I knew I had to if I was going to help fix my marriage. Counseling is hard but it is worth it. I have learned so much stuff about myself in these few sessions. If you have some things in your life that you don't understand, counseling has really helped me.

Wrong

Everything I do lately is wrong. I started going to a counselor to help figure out me. She was hard on me but that is what I needed. Well in this, I decided I needed to wait to move back in with Charles till I figured out some stuff with me. He didn't like that answer so I guess I am not moving back in. We are both tired of fighting. So to keep from fighting, Charles thinks we just need to quit. I don't agree but I will abide by what he wants. This post is nothing against Charles, it is just the facts. He needs actions and I need words so I guess we are too different to work on us. I will figure out my life after Christmas because right now I just want to lay in bed and sleep till everything is over.

Land of Confusion

Charles and I keep going back and forth on if we work on our marriage or just let it go. We both are afraid to go back. What is the other hurts me again is both of our thoughts. Well we finally decided that Cassie and I are going to move back in. We hired a mover to move Cassie's and my stuff back in. I thought this would be a great time to go through everything and have a garage sell but Charles said we have too much going on with us and we need to focus on that instead of purging and selling things. So in the spirit of listening to what my husband wants, I agreed. It is so hard because I am so used to doing things my way and that is one of the many things that is driving us apart. So I am going to start really listening to Charles and not just pick out things I want to hear. We both are going to try and really be in tune with what the other wants and not just what we want. I hope this is a new beginning for us and in a year from now we will come out a stronger and more loving couple. It will be interesting to see where Charles and I are in a year. Hopefully together!

Trust

Trust is so hard to rebuild. Once you have lost it, it is so hard to get it back. That is the big thing keeping Charles and I apart right now. It is hard to have faith that the other will actually change like they have said they will. After 8 years of breaking the trust, can one trust that the other will change for the better? So our life together is still up in the air until a decision is made.

Date

So Charles and I are going on a date tonight. Just him and me. We had a hard conversation yesterday but a big breakthrough. So pretty much, we are starting over. We love each other but the way we have been doing our relationship was not working at all. Not sure where we are going to go from here but we are going to take things slow. We are not going to rush back into marriage. Since I don't have to move back right now, we are going to date. Not sure how a date with my husband of 8 years is going to look like but I am excited with how we are proceeding.

Crossroads

I am at a crossroads. Charles and I decided not to fight anymore. Where do we go from here? We both feel like we want to work on our marriage but can it be fixed? We both have said awful things to each other. I always wondered how two people who loved each other enough to get married, could end up hating each other after a divorce. I guess there is a thin line between love and hate. I can't remember the exact point where we stopped fighting and decided to work on our marriage but we both went to dinner last night with Cassie. It was nice and weird. Nice because we just talked of mundane things and weird because for 2 weeks we have only fought and weren't sure how to react to each other. So for now, in Charles' words, we are going to "date." Not sure how you date the person you have been with for 9 years but we both need to think and see if we can stay together. He is not pressuring me to move back and I am leaving him alone so he can think. Not doing very good on the leaving alone part because we have been chatting online all day, but I have just missed talking to him. So we are both at a crossroads right now.

A Turn

So I guess Charles and I finally got tired of fighting with each other. We are going to try and work on our marriage. We are not sure where to go from here but we are going to try.

Dinner

So I am going to have to learn how to cook again. I have not had to cook because Charles cooked. I loved telling people I didn't cook, my husband did it all. So in this new life, I have to learn to cook again. I am living at my mom's right now so she has been cooking but Rudy and she was gone so I had to cook for Cassie and I. I heated up leftovers, because I am not comfortable yet cooking my mother's food. She wouldn't mind, it is me.

On another note, Cassie and I watched Extreme Home Makeover together. I never get to watch it live and it is a show Cassie and I can watch together. She was so tired because she didn't take a nap in the car so she went to bed early. I am about to go to bed because I am also tired. Driving 7 hours by yourself with a 3 year old is hard and tiring. I am going to try to have a happy post on the next one but no promises.

Mourning

I have a friend whose husband died a little over a year ago. She has really mourned for him deeply. While I know divorce is different, it still feels like mourning because I did lose my best friend. When we were happy, we talked about everything and there was nothing I could not tell him. We talked every week day online. I miss all that. I feel like I have no one to talk to. My friends will call to see how I am, but they have their own lives and I am now alone. I miss my husband, I miss talking every night and watching TV at night. I miss the security because right now I have no idea what I am going to do and if I can afford anything. I am tired and worn out and hate every bit of this, but I am not sure we can go back, too many awful things have been said. So I am in mourning.

Hall Closet

A couple of weeks ago, my mom's church had a woman's retreat and the topic was Christ Heart Home. My room was the hall closet. The speech I wrote is all God. He wrote the whole thing. Once I sat down and wrote it, the words just came pouring out. God is so good because while I am proud of the speech, God wrote it, I just delivered it. Now warning, it is long because it is a 15 minute speech. I may not be thrilled with what is going on in my life right now, but I trust God to get me through it.

Good afternoon! My room in the home is the hall closet. The definition of the word closet is, “a small room, enclosed recess for storing clothing, food, utensils, etc” “a small private room” “a state or condition of secrecy or carefully guarded privacy.” As you can see from these definitions, there are different types of closets but they all have the same meaning, to hide things. Now when I say hide things, not all hidden things are bad. The reason houses have closets is so when guest come, they don’t see all your clothes or towels all over the house, but in the same sense we tend to put things in closets we don’t want others to see. No one wants someone coming into their house and going through their closets. If you invited Jesus into your house today, would you be okay with him going through your closet? Do you have stuff hidden in the closet of your heart that you don’t want to take out or deal with?

If you received Jesus in your heart, no matter your age or mind frame, you were forgiven of all past sins. Romans 3:23-25 says, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished. Many of us hold on to sin, thinking, my sin is too bad or even some thinking, oh I don’t want to bother God with this little sin. Some sins seem bigger than others because their obvious consequences are much more serious. Murder, for example, seems to us to be worse than stealing, and adultery seems worse than pride. In societies eyes, murder is worse than stealing but in God’s eyes, all sin is equal. In the same token though, all sin is forgiven through Christ. God declares that we, in we I mean Believers, are righteous. The definition of righteous is acting in accord with divine or moral law: free from guilt or sin. When a judge in a court of law declares the defendant not guilty, all the charges are removed from his record. Legally, it is as if the person had never been accused. When God forgives our sins, our record is wiped clean. From his perspective, it is as though we had never sinned. Why did He do this? John 3:16, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. If you grew up in church, you know that verse better than any verse in the Bible, why, because it is so important. If you have asked Christ into your heart, you will live eternally with God in heaven. Having said all this, why do we still hold onto sin? If God forgives all of our sin, why do we still hold on or dwell on it. Are we ashamed? No matter what sin or what pain there might be in the past, Christ is ready to forgive, to heal and to make whole.

Now back to the house scenario that we have used this weekend. In our real life, our hall closets hold, towels, extra sheets, toilet paper, everyday use items. Okay funny story time about towels. Since my mom “made” me speak this weekend, it is a funny story on her. My mom loves to have her aunts come visit her. My papa will usually bring 3, 4 or even 5 aunts down at a time for a visit. Well one-year mom decided that she needed new towels, the ones that she had were falling apart. So she went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and spent money on new, good, thick towels for the aunts to use while visiting. Well when mom went into the guest bathroom to make sure there was enough toilet paper, Kleenex, she saw one of the old towels hanging up to dry. She then asked one of the aunts, why are you using these ratty towels, and her answer was, well I didn’t want to use the nice towels that were in there, they were just so nice. Now my question is, why did my mom keep the old towels? Now the same question but to you and replace towels with sin, why do we keep holding onto old sin? The story in the book that was our guidance was really speaking about our old life, our life before we accepted Christ in our hearts but I think it can apply to sin we have committed since being children of God. Psalms 103:3, “He forgives ALL my sins.”

The two worst words that can ever be put together is “What if.” What if I hadn’t snuck out of my house, I wouldn’t be grounded. What if I had just called a taxi instead of driving, I wouldn’t be sitting in jail facing manslaughter charges. Now those are two different extremes but you will notice the second part of those two questions are the hating of the consequences of those actions. Yes God forgives all our sins, but we also must accept the punishment that happens when we sin. Lamentations 3:39-40, Why should any living man complain when punished for his sins? Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Parents discipline children to produce right behavior. When mom and I were at the fair last weekend, there was a child throwing a fit and not one of his parents corrected his attitude. I said to mom, if that was Cassie, she would have gotten her butt whooped and we would have gone home. Everyone says, you know what is wrong with society today….? Why are we such experts on other peoples behavior, and I am right up there with everyone, but we don’t deal with our own sin. When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, and God had to punish them, one of the punishments was that everyone would be born with a sinful nature. Romans 5:18, now I want to read this from the New Living Translation “Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and a new life for everyone.” One of the sermons that was preached at my church was since God forgives all of our sins, why can’t we just sin as much as we want? To answer this question, lets turn to Romans 6:1-2, What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 6-7 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. 11-14 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.

God’s forgiveness does not make sin less serious; his Son’s death for sin shows us the dreadful seriousness of sin. Jesus paid with his life so we could be forgiven. Just because God makes his mercy available to us, that should not be an excuse for careless living. The body of sin, in verse 6, died with Christ on the cross. The words body of sin in the New Living Translation is the power of sin. The power of sin again refers to our rebellious sin-loving nature inherited from Adam. Though we often willingly cooperate with our sinful nature, it is not us but the sin in us that is evil. In verse 6 & 7 Paul emphasizes that we need no longer live under sin’s power. God does not take us out of the world or make us robots-we will still feel like sinning, and sometimes we will sin. The difference is that before we were saved we were slaves to our sinful nature, but now we can choose to live for Christ. Turn to Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. In verse 12 back in Romans 6, it says do not let sin rule your life. How can we keep this command to not let sin control the way we live, to not give in to its desires? Now before you think I am all knowing and I know everything to do, remember, I have found these and I think they would be helpful. These are suggestions, not commands! Here are a few steps I have read in researching for this talk. 1) Identify our personal weakness, mine is shopping 2) Recognize the things that tempt us, Chick-fil-a, I know a Godly man runs it but those nuggets are from the devil and they always tempt me 3) Stay Away from sources of temptation, this one is hard for me because Chick-fil-a is across the street from Cassie’s school 4) Practice self-restraint, 5) Consciously invest our times in good habits and service, when I am in Bible study, I just feel better and 6) Lean on God’s strength and grace. The big one for me is practice self-restraint. Now how do we get rid of this sin we are holding on to. We need to let God clean out that closet. We need to let him "throw everything away." Once you let go, your life will be fresh again.

The Beth Moore study I am doing talks about doing this and it has been the best thing for me. I could not get through this awful period in my life without God.

Sorry

I deleted my last 3 posts because I realize that I wrote them out of pride. God is really working in me right now and pride is a big thing I have to try to get over. So the facts, I am getting a divorce. That is all.

I am doing this Bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free. It is so awesome how God brings these Bible studies in my life. I have so many sins that I needs to break from and give them to God and then let them go. I wrote a speech about letting sin go. I will add the verses into it and post it, it is long, but God wrote it, not me. When I read it, I think, God is all over this speech. I am very proud of it. I will try to do that tomorrow.

In conclusion, please keep praying.

House Selling Whoas

So the realtor called us about maybe coming down a little bit on the house, like a couple of thousand. I thought, OK fine, if it means selling the house. Well Charles and I went to lunch, because there is no child at lunch and we can actually have a conversation. Charles thought, how is coming down a couple of thousand going to make it sell. If people were coming into the house and saying, well I like it but it is a little high, then that would make sense, but we aren't even having people come look at it. So after much discussion, we decided to keep the price as is. If it doesn't sell by Thanksgiving then it comes off the market and we will try again later. The realtor said it is taking houses about 4 months to sell and ours has been up for 1 1/2 months. Plus, I looked online and the houses we want in our price range are slim pickings. There are a bunch in Midland, which is funny because I had just resigned myself that we were staying in Odessa. Well God knows what He is doing so I will just go with the flow. Once I am done with my speech for Saturday I will post it because I am a little proud of it.

Birthday

So my birthday is tomorrow and unless you live under a rock, you know what day that is. I use to love my birthday, birthday's are very special in my family, but 9 years ago, some stupid overzealous terrorist ruined that day for me. It really isn't that bad, I don't turn on the TV or get online for the whole day. Not even on Facebook because all people comment all day is remember what today is. While I don't think we should forget and a terrible tragedy did happen, I would like to have a happy birthday. When I go to the airport, every security person looks at my license and says, "Do you know when your birthday is?" or my favorite, "Man, your birthday sucks." My thanks, it is always nice to hear that. One guy asked if that was really my birthday, I looked at him and said no, I was thinking what would be a sucky day to have a birthday and that date popped in my mind. I wish people thought before they spoke. It has gotten better over the years but that first year I hated telling people my birthday because they would give me this "I am so sorry look." Tomorrow is Saturday at least and I mostly don't get online or watch live TV on Saturday's. The wonderful thing is my daughter has no idea that 9/11 is a bad day and she is so excited about my birthday. She makes the day happy again.

While I know that this post seems selfish when so many lost their lives, this is my blog and I can be as selfish as I want. The day is a sad day and one that needs to be remembered, but I will remember it on the other 364 days of the year.

Other's Blogs

Sometimes when I am bored I will look at other peoples blogs. It is fun reading about other peoples lives. I have noticed many blogs are of people with growing families and others are just random thoughts. They are all fun to read, but the problem is then you read peoples blogs who have either had a hard time conceiving or have lost a child. Those hurt me so much. I usually end up crying while reading those. The raw pain coming from them is so hard to read. I can't imagine the pain of either not being able to conceive or losing a child. The thought of Cassie not in my life hurts. The thought of never having the experience of carrying Cassie hurts me because it was the best feeling in the world. The thought of having a miscarriage breaks my heart.

I realize how easy my life has been. I grew up with 2 wonderful loving parents in a Godly household where we ate dinner every night at a table together. My parents came to every activity that I or my brother had. Yes my brother has Down Syndrome but he had none of the heart defects that most Down Syndrome kids are born with. There is no cancer in my family, no sudden tragic loses, my grandfather passed away from complications of a stroke, but that was technically his fault, he didn't take care of himself. The rest of my grandparents are very healthy and I still have both of my parents. Life has been good to me. I did not have a hard time conceiving, we actually weren't even trying (did you know you have to take birth control pills everyday? Who knew.) Had a uncomplicated easy pregnancy with a fairly easy, less than 12 hour of labor. Cassie was born healthy and perfect.

God has been so good to me and my family. It is one of those things that I feel like I need to knock on wood. I have to remember how easy my life has been because some days I am just so stressed, I think, why me. That is so selfish. My life is good. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful child with no health issues, a wonderful job that I adore, a house, a car and very little money worries. I have to constantly remind myself that God is good and praise him for all that he has given me. I think, at least in my life, that we pray to God when we need to, something is going wrong in my life and I need God's help. Do I pray everyday thanking him for all he has given to me? Someone once told me, when she had trouble sleeping, instead of just laying there, she would just start praying. I have been working on that because I keep waking up very early in the morning. Maybe God is waking me up so that I can just pray.

Thank you for reading my rant and remember, thank God for everything you have in your life because you never know in a blink of an eye, it may be gone.

Vegas Baby!!

This is the hotel we stay at: Planet Hollywood.

Yeah we made it to Vegas!!! We were so excited we took a picture in the elevator!!

This was the mall inside the hotel, the ceiling looks like we are really outside.

This is what a $94 dollar 40 oz steak looks like. It was the best thing I have ever eaten. Charles and I shared it, but I ate my fair share.

We went for Charles to go to a knife show. This is was in his pockets after the show.

The fountains at the Bellagio, I want to stay here is we ever go again.

Vegas was fun and relaxing but very expensive. Charles and I got two drinks one night before heading up to the room and it was $27 and the drinks were in plastic cups. The food was expensive, tickets were expensive, especially when you missed the show. I can't believe I looked at our tickets wrong and thought they said Saturday. On no, they said Friday. Another bad thing, you lose track of time, I had no idea what day it was. The most wonderful place was the Earl of Sandwich. I ate there 4 times. Got the same sandwich 3 times. Tried to lay out by the pool but they had the hip hop music so loud that I could not even concentrate on my book. It was a great experience and everyone should try it once but I am not sure if we are going to go back.

Pedicure then Vegas

So today after work I will be going to get a pedicure. Since I will be barefoot a lot while in Vegas, I would like my feet to not look like a trucker's feet. Oh I can't wait for tomorrow. Hopefully Charles will get out of his funk and we can have a good time. I hope the next time I post it will be with pictures from Vegas and what a wonderful time we had.

Speaking

My mother's church is have a Women's Retreat on Sept 17-18. She has asked me to speak at the retreat. I hate speaking in public. I get so nervous and flustered right before. The whole weekend is titled "My Heart-Christ's Home." My part of the home is the hall closet. How we tend to hide things away in our lives like we put stuff in closets. I was very nervous about speaking because I had no idea what I was going to say. Last night we had a meeting to go over the weekend and have a time of prayer. Last night in bed, before I went to sleep, God told me what I needed to speak about. It was so amazing, I did the whole speech in my head while laying in bed. I should have gotten up and just typed it all but I was tired and to in awe that God would make it flow like it did. I am nearly excited about the weekend now, I say nearly because it still involves speaking in front of a bunch of women. If you are a woman and reading this blog and live in the Midland/Odessa area, please come to the retreat at First Southern Baptist Church in Gardendale, TX. It starts Friday, September 17th at 6:30pm and end Saturday afternoon. My cousin, Krista, will be leading the worship and she has an amazing voice. Food will be provided and all you have to do is show up. It should be an amazing weekend.

Son of a motherless goat

Okay so waxing areas other than eyebrows hurts a lot. Wow, that is different kind of pain. I hope it was worth it cause not sure I could ever do that again. Hope I tipped her well and I am glad I have a job that doesn't require me to put others in pain even though the others paid for it. 6 days to Vegas.

Chatting

So Charles and I chat everyday online, nearly all day. Not about anything important, just chatting. It is hard to talk at home with a 3 year old who wants to be with us the whole time she is awake and by the time she gets to bed we are tired and just want to watch a TV show or read a book before bed. It has been really nice. Sometimes we have arguments about something (like life) and then sometimes we talk about dreams and aspirations. Well in our talking, Charles convinced me to get waxed before Vegas. Not eyebrow waxed and we will just leave it at that. I will let you know how it goes and if I scream like a little girl.

Oh Vegas!!

Charles and I have 10 days till Vegas!! It will be the longest time ever. I can't wait for the two of us to go on a vacation and not be in debt afterward. We were so good, we paid for the hotel, then plane tickets, already bought our show tickets and saved up cash to take with us so we will not use one card while there. I can't wait to just relax.

So on the house front. 1 showing in 1 month. I did read something that August is the worse time to sell and man were they right. I sure hope it picks up. Keeping a house clean all the time is hard and it is harder when no one is looking at it. I keep telling myself, we don't have to move so we aren't in a hurry, but this sucks.

Yum

Ok a break from the house selling whoa. Tonight Charles and I are going to Genghis Grill. We used to go all the time in Dallas and loved it. I hope it is as good as it use to be. Hopefully Cassie will eat something.

My new iPhone gets here tomorrow!!!! I actually bought a case for it also. Maybe I won't destroy this one.

Oh Vegas, I am so excited I am barely sleep. A real vacation with just Charles and me. A grown up vacation. I bought a bustier that is black and red that you wear as a shirt. I have never owned one but this is Vegas. Now I have to find a short skirt and some cute heels. I am meeting a lot of guys that Charles knows so I want Charles to be proud to show off his wife. I also bought a low cut dress that you can't wear a bra with. Very excited to wear my new clothes. Will be nice to get out of my comfort zone and just have fun. Plus work on a nice tan.

Realtors???

So Charles is upset that we have had only one person come look at the house in 2 weeks. Our Realtor is saying that it is just slow right now and hopefully it should pick up. Well now Charles's friend is telling him how the same thing happened to him and they changed Realtor's and sold their house in 10 days. Do we change our Realtor after only 2 weeks? Plus I know our Realtor, went to high school with him, he is a really great guy and the Realtor Charles wants to move us to, I don't like. My father would have a cow if we moved to this Realtor but I told Charles that if he wanted to get a different Realtor that he would have to find one and I would support him. I really think we need to give ours a least a full month before we find another. ARGH, I just want the house to sell.

It is hard to be patient

Patience is not one of my best virtues. When I know I want something, I go get it done right then. So when we decided to sell our house, I wanted it sold right then. I understand that is very rare to sell your house as soon as you put it up. It is all up to God. I still feel good about selling it but I do wish it would happen sooner. I am proud of Charles, he is dealing with this better than I thought. He is helping me keep the house clean and has done very well on fixing everything that needs to be done to sell. Charles will get things done that need to be done, he just doesn't do it as fast as I want it done. In that I have to learn patience also. Our Realtor has said it is just slow right now. I am really not worried, I have prayed about God's plan through this whole process and still feel this is the right thing to do. I told Charles that I did not want to know about the Boulder house, if it has sold or not. When our house sells, then we will ask about it. If it has sold, then it wasn't meant to be, if it hasn't then we will put a contract on it. I think God is just teaching me patience because he knows that I have very little.

AWWWWWW

So the son of the lady who owns the Boulder house called to let us know that they are putting their house up for sell this week. Charles thanked him for letting us know and told him that our house is on the market but we can't do anything until we have a contract on our house. We had talked about looking at other houses to make sure but we both know we want this house. Everybody pray with me, Dear Lord, if it be Your will, please let Kara sell her house so that her family can buy their dream house. Amen.

Showings

Argh, we have only had one person come look at the house. I just wish people would go look at it. I know Wayne said the 1st week we would only have a few and it picks up in the next weeks but it would make me feel better if the realtors office would call saying they need to show it. Ok I won't feel downtrodden. I just really want to move.

First Looker

Wayne put the sign in the yard at 6:30pm last night and we had our first showing today. When the realtor office called to let me know, I nearly screamed yes in her ear. I know I don't need to get our hopes up but Wayne called after to say that was good because he has had one house for sell for a month with no one looking at it. Then I also realized people would be walking in my house judging it. Judging how I decorated or the paint colors. Oh well, I just hope someone buys it. I just hope it sells before the Boulder house goes on the market so we can put a contract on it before anyone else sees it. Dear Lord, please if the house is going to sell, make it quick so I don't make myself sick. Amen.

House for Sale

Finally I have something fun to blog about. So Charles and I agreed that we both want to move into a bigger house. This is HUGE for us because Charles hates moving, like makes himself sick with just the thought of moving. So we had a Realtor come look at it. One good thing about Facebook is that you get to find people you went to High School with. Well on FB I found Wayne Dunson. We weren't best friends or anything in high school but I did know him and remembered what a nice guy he was. I also knew from FB that he was a Realtor. So I asked Wayne to come and check out the house. He was actually impressed with everything we have done. Charles and I may despise the house because it is too small but we have put a lot of work into it. So the next week Wayne came back and told me he wanted to try to sell it for $105,000 which is great because we bought the house at $90,000.

That is when the fun started. We had to get the house ready to sell. We had to rent a storage unit to put a bunch of furniture in it so that the house would look bigger. Then we had to finish the kitchen FINALLY. Why is it you put stuff off until you try to sell it? Then we had to repaint the trim and fix stuff on the outside. Both Charles and I were so tired of dealing with repairs but we got it finished. Here is the house if you want to buy it. :-) It is a good house, it is just too small for us who love stuff.

Like I said in the last post, we already found our house. It is an older house but Charles loves older houses with character. I would love a new home but Charles hates cookie cutter houses. I just want one I don't have to work on. Yes this house is old but it is big. It has two living rooms and a HUGE laundry room which I would love. Man I am old to talk about loving a laundry room. Has 3 bedrooms that all have walk in closets. Now the bathrooms, on my. The guest bath is PINK!!! Pink tile, pink tub and pink toilet, but as Charles says, it can be fixed. Of course Cassie will LOVE it. I wish the master was bigger but Charles says we can add on later cause it is on an outside wall.

Now we are going to be good and look at other houses so that we know for sure this is our house. I have prayed every night that it is God's will that he allows us to sell ours and let us get the Boulder house (as we call it).

Wow

I am so bad, it has been nearly a year since my last post. I like to post but the pictures are so much easier to post on Facebook then on here so I usually just post on Facebook. Plus I am not sure how many people really read this. Since that is the case, I will just ramble. So Charles and I have decided to try to put the house up for sale. We have grown out of the house and need more room. A guy from high school is a Realtor now so he came last Friday to assess the house. He is coming tomorrow to tell us how much we can sell it for. I hope to be able to sell it for about $10,000 more than we bought it for. Well the bad thing is that we already found a house we love. My step-father knows this lady who is selling her house so that she can move closer to her kids because she is getting too old to live so far away from them. The house needs alot of updating but Charles is willing to do that. I really don't want to move to a house I have to update so much, but I really like the house. The back yard is so nice. A perfect place for Cassie to play outside and it has a nice deck for me to watch her. We don't know know how much they will be selling it for but we hope it will be in our price range since so much needs to be updated.

I would really like to move to Midland because all our good friends live in Midland, but it would be easier to live in Odessa because both mine and Charles' parents live here. Then the other side is I work in Midland and would love to live closer to wear I work. Of course this is all mute unless we can sell the house for a good price. So Wayne comes tomorrow and I am hoping we get to work on the house Saturday to get it ready to sell. We will have to put half our stuff in storage so that the house doesn't look so crowded.

I wish I had more to blog about. Maybe if Charles lets us have another baby I can blog about being pregnant. Of course my last pregnancy was very dull so that probably wouldn't even be interesting. Well hopefully I can blog about us moving and redoing a house.