Sorry

I deleted my last 3 posts because I realize that I wrote them out of pride. God is really working in me right now and pride is a big thing I have to try to get over. So the facts, I am getting a divorce. That is all.

I am doing this Bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free. It is so awesome how God brings these Bible studies in my life. I have so many sins that I needs to break from and give them to God and then let them go. I wrote a speech about letting sin go. I will add the verses into it and post it, it is long, but God wrote it, not me. When I read it, I think, God is all over this speech. I am very proud of it. I will try to do that tomorrow.

In conclusion, please keep praying.

House Selling Whoas

So the realtor called us about maybe coming down a little bit on the house, like a couple of thousand. I thought, OK fine, if it means selling the house. Well Charles and I went to lunch, because there is no child at lunch and we can actually have a conversation. Charles thought, how is coming down a couple of thousand going to make it sell. If people were coming into the house and saying, well I like it but it is a little high, then that would make sense, but we aren't even having people come look at it. So after much discussion, we decided to keep the price as is. If it doesn't sell by Thanksgiving then it comes off the market and we will try again later. The realtor said it is taking houses about 4 months to sell and ours has been up for 1 1/2 months. Plus, I looked online and the houses we want in our price range are slim pickings. There are a bunch in Midland, which is funny because I had just resigned myself that we were staying in Odessa. Well God knows what He is doing so I will just go with the flow. Once I am done with my speech for Saturday I will post it because I am a little proud of it.

Birthday

So my birthday is tomorrow and unless you live under a rock, you know what day that is. I use to love my birthday, birthday's are very special in my family, but 9 years ago, some stupid overzealous terrorist ruined that day for me. It really isn't that bad, I don't turn on the TV or get online for the whole day. Not even on Facebook because all people comment all day is remember what today is. While I don't think we should forget and a terrible tragedy did happen, I would like to have a happy birthday. When I go to the airport, every security person looks at my license and says, "Do you know when your birthday is?" or my favorite, "Man, your birthday sucks." My thanks, it is always nice to hear that. One guy asked if that was really my birthday, I looked at him and said no, I was thinking what would be a sucky day to have a birthday and that date popped in my mind. I wish people thought before they spoke. It has gotten better over the years but that first year I hated telling people my birthday because they would give me this "I am so sorry look." Tomorrow is Saturday at least and I mostly don't get online or watch live TV on Saturday's. The wonderful thing is my daughter has no idea that 9/11 is a bad day and she is so excited about my birthday. She makes the day happy again.

While I know that this post seems selfish when so many lost their lives, this is my blog and I can be as selfish as I want. The day is a sad day and one that needs to be remembered, but I will remember it on the other 364 days of the year.

Other's Blogs

Sometimes when I am bored I will look at other peoples blogs. It is fun reading about other peoples lives. I have noticed many blogs are of people with growing families and others are just random thoughts. They are all fun to read, but the problem is then you read peoples blogs who have either had a hard time conceiving or have lost a child. Those hurt me so much. I usually end up crying while reading those. The raw pain coming from them is so hard to read. I can't imagine the pain of either not being able to conceive or losing a child. The thought of Cassie not in my life hurts. The thought of never having the experience of carrying Cassie hurts me because it was the best feeling in the world. The thought of having a miscarriage breaks my heart.

I realize how easy my life has been. I grew up with 2 wonderful loving parents in a Godly household where we ate dinner every night at a table together. My parents came to every activity that I or my brother had. Yes my brother has Down Syndrome but he had none of the heart defects that most Down Syndrome kids are born with. There is no cancer in my family, no sudden tragic loses, my grandfather passed away from complications of a stroke, but that was technically his fault, he didn't take care of himself. The rest of my grandparents are very healthy and I still have both of my parents. Life has been good to me. I did not have a hard time conceiving, we actually weren't even trying (did you know you have to take birth control pills everyday? Who knew.) Had a uncomplicated easy pregnancy with a fairly easy, less than 12 hour of labor. Cassie was born healthy and perfect.

God has been so good to me and my family. It is one of those things that I feel like I need to knock on wood. I have to remember how easy my life has been because some days I am just so stressed, I think, why me. That is so selfish. My life is good. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful child with no health issues, a wonderful job that I adore, a house, a car and very little money worries. I have to constantly remind myself that God is good and praise him for all that he has given me. I think, at least in my life, that we pray to God when we need to, something is going wrong in my life and I need God's help. Do I pray everyday thanking him for all he has given to me? Someone once told me, when she had trouble sleeping, instead of just laying there, she would just start praying. I have been working on that because I keep waking up very early in the morning. Maybe God is waking me up so that I can just pray.

Thank you for reading my rant and remember, thank God for everything you have in your life because you never know in a blink of an eye, it may be gone.

Vegas Baby!!

This is the hotel we stay at: Planet Hollywood.

Yeah we made it to Vegas!!! We were so excited we took a picture in the elevator!!

This was the mall inside the hotel, the ceiling looks like we are really outside.

This is what a $94 dollar 40 oz steak looks like. It was the best thing I have ever eaten. Charles and I shared it, but I ate my fair share.

We went for Charles to go to a knife show. This is was in his pockets after the show.

The fountains at the Bellagio, I want to stay here is we ever go again.

Vegas was fun and relaxing but very expensive. Charles and I got two drinks one night before heading up to the room and it was $27 and the drinks were in plastic cups. The food was expensive, tickets were expensive, especially when you missed the show. I can't believe I looked at our tickets wrong and thought they said Saturday. On no, they said Friday. Another bad thing, you lose track of time, I had no idea what day it was. The most wonderful place was the Earl of Sandwich. I ate there 4 times. Got the same sandwich 3 times. Tried to lay out by the pool but they had the hip hop music so loud that I could not even concentrate on my book. It was a great experience and everyone should try it once but I am not sure if we are going to go back.

Pedicure then Vegas

So today after work I will be going to get a pedicure. Since I will be barefoot a lot while in Vegas, I would like my feet to not look like a trucker's feet. Oh I can't wait for tomorrow. Hopefully Charles will get out of his funk and we can have a good time. I hope the next time I post it will be with pictures from Vegas and what a wonderful time we had.