Other's Blogs

Sometimes when I am bored I will look at other peoples blogs. It is fun reading about other peoples lives. I have noticed many blogs are of people with growing families and others are just random thoughts. They are all fun to read, but the problem is then you read peoples blogs who have either had a hard time conceiving or have lost a child. Those hurt me so much. I usually end up crying while reading those. The raw pain coming from them is so hard to read. I can't imagine the pain of either not being able to conceive or losing a child. The thought of Cassie not in my life hurts. The thought of never having the experience of carrying Cassie hurts me because it was the best feeling in the world. The thought of having a miscarriage breaks my heart.

I realize how easy my life has been. I grew up with 2 wonderful loving parents in a Godly household where we ate dinner every night at a table together. My parents came to every activity that I or my brother had. Yes my brother has Down Syndrome but he had none of the heart defects that most Down Syndrome kids are born with. There is no cancer in my family, no sudden tragic loses, my grandfather passed away from complications of a stroke, but that was technically his fault, he didn't take care of himself. The rest of my grandparents are very healthy and I still have both of my parents. Life has been good to me. I did not have a hard time conceiving, we actually weren't even trying (did you know you have to take birth control pills everyday? Who knew.) Had a uncomplicated easy pregnancy with a fairly easy, less than 12 hour of labor. Cassie was born healthy and perfect.

God has been so good to me and my family. It is one of those things that I feel like I need to knock on wood. I have to remember how easy my life has been because some days I am just so stressed, I think, why me. That is so selfish. My life is good. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful child with no health issues, a wonderful job that I adore, a house, a car and very little money worries. I have to constantly remind myself that God is good and praise him for all that he has given me. I think, at least in my life, that we pray to God when we need to, something is going wrong in my life and I need God's help. Do I pray everyday thanking him for all he has given to me? Someone once told me, when she had trouble sleeping, instead of just laying there, she would just start praying. I have been working on that because I keep waking up very early in the morning. Maybe God is waking me up so that I can just pray.

Thank you for reading my rant and remember, thank God for everything you have in your life because you never know in a blink of an eye, it may be gone.